i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
