very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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