I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
