How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize