Porn is love you can see.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
