Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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