so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
