true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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