used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I want to fling myself into the sun
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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