Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
