yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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