Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
