You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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