I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
