Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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