you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
