Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
