This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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