I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i drank out of a bidet.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
