Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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