Can i not drive my cunt home
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
