How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
