even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Green mimosas i think yes
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Randomize
