it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
