I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
