you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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