i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Oh god it's open bar.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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