Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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