What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
