My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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