She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
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