does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
