if i can run in heels then i can drive
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
