I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
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