Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
