My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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