It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
So much Jack, so little girl.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
