She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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