he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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