the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Randomize
