I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
