I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
