I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
