Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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