I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
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