the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
