They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
