Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
