Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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