remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
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