I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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