It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
