White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
