she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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